My Love
by frozen tears
Summary: An Angst from Kagura's POV. Kagura's thoughts (random) about Kyo... and kyo. rated pg bc of stuff Kagura does, and I think there is usage of language. i'm not all too sure though. r&r!


So I loved him. Is that a crime? In his heart it is. I told him that I love him all the time, and he shuns me! Why Kyo? Why must you not accept my love? Why love her, an outsider to the family? She came in by accident.

One day, I told him, " Kyo, if you must pick between me and Tohru, who would you pick?" He answered "Tohru. What kind of question is this?" Imagine the shock I felt. A stranger to the family. A girl who has yet to learn all the family secrets. A girl who just barged into the family. What does she know? But what I hate the most about her is that all she has to do is smile, and she has solved all the problems in the world. OK, so maybe just all the problems in the family. But you know what I mean. She just has to be sweet, and all the problems are forgotten. While as if a Sohma girl tried to comfort a Sohma man, more problems arise. Sometimes I wish that the girl would just disappear. The last time I thought that, she left to go and live with her grandpa. Maybe now she'll disappear for good. No wait, I don't want that to happen. And if she left, then Kyo would never love me. He'll just grieve over her. Or maybe go back to Master, and stay with him for good. What good would that do for me? But then, I'm not pure enough for Kyo. I am a dirty girl. (Here I am doing something people have never done before, so bear with me. This is some kind of dirty stuff. SRY!!!!!!!! FT) One night, I went over to Shigure's. I meant to see Kyo, but him, Yuki and Tohru were at the school for a sleep-in there. I didn't really know what that was either. But either way, since it was late, Shigure told me to spend the night there. So I did. I told him I'd take the extra guest room that they have. He agreed. So we both had dinner that Tohru had left behind, and then went to bed. During the night, I had a nightmare. A ghost was going around trying to kill me. Scaaarry. Being terrified, I went to Shigure's room, to spend the night with him. We all used to do that when we were younger. Me, Shigure, Hatori and Ayame. We didn't add Rin with us because she was kind of a slut back then. Back to the story. I went to his room. Here's a little thing you should remember, he hasn't had sex in around 4 months, and he really needed it. (I'm only 13. Is that not true about needing to do it every once in a while once you get used to doing it? I'm not sure. I read it in a book once, and that book gives one a lot of inspiration.) And a girl in just her thin nightgown makes him want it more. So, he kind of pulled me close and asked me what was wrong, and it sort of happened.

It's not really my fault is it? We both needed to feel love again.

And so, afterwards I washed myself and slept in the guest room, just in case we overslept, and they came home, and life went on like it normally did.

Of course why should I go and tell Kyo what I did? He'll hate me even more than he already does. Wait is that possible? Wow. New discovery.

But still. Why does he hate me so much? Why is he so scared of Sohma girls? Oh, Kisa just walked past and I wonder, does Kyo and her have any connection to each other because they're both felines? Just a thought. But back to Kyo. Will he ever love me? Will he ever see me as at least just a friend? But I wonder, does he have a better relationship with Tohru, because she saw his true form and accepted him? But I also accepted his true form and he never accepted me. This is just not fair. Why won't he love me? Do I have to start ignoring him, and pretend to stop loving him in order for him to notice me? Oh well, I'll just wait till Kyo remembers everything that happened in our childhood. I will do all that I can to help him remember, and just hope and pray that he'll remember and accept me again.

A/N: ok, this whole thing took about an entire year to finish. Ugh. Review me any questions you may have. I'll answer any of them if I can. I'm doing all this based on manga's 1-6 and episodes 1-26. So ya.

With luv, FT.


End file.
